Well, been fighting off a cold and today could not speak which could be blessing for others. Seriously, here in Philly we are whining about the snow and inside me I am whining about my comfort level. I mean it's not that I mind people asking how are you is that I wonder do you want me to answer truthfully...............
I mean who do you tell my vagina hurts or/and itches.
Do you wanna know that I wish I could go bare some days because my underwear hurts? do I share that before or after dinner. Am I supposed to whine and complain all the time, I mean I am hear and I am gonna laugh about it or cry but I can't please everyone. Especially now as I try to figure out at 34 what the heck do I do with the rest of my life...............
How do I cope? How can I explain my fear of no bathrooms; or sitting for long periods of time.
How do I explain oh I love that you brought me wine but its acidic so I can't drink it.
No thank you I can walk by myself you rude ass because you are being a speed demon. I can't walk fast when everything below my belly button is screaming can I please get some ice, heat, drugs............
Yes, as a Christian I believe all things are possible but I tend to believe that our bodies are Gods gifts and when they scream SLOW DOWN maybe we should.
I want to just go out, have fun not talk about me; I wanna laugh of course with my poise on...............
I want to have sex that does not hurt at any point unless I want it to;-)
I want to go to the bathroom and not regret it because it hurts so much.
I want to do more but who can when I feel like all I do and feel comfy doing is laying down.
I want to be remembered but not suffocated. This is why I seek help and know I need Jesus!
I want to cope happily, without regret.................
So I share with you because who knows what your going through but it helps me to read things others write about.
