Coping with life's obligations.............

Well, been fighting off a cold and today could not speak which could be blessing for others.  Seriously, here in Philly we are whining about the snow and inside me I am whining about my comfort level.  I mean it's not that I mind people asking how are you is that I wonder do you want me to answer truthfully...............
I mean who do you tell my vagina hurts or/and itches. 
Do you wanna know that I wish I could go bare some days because my underwear hurts?  do I share that before or after dinner. Am I supposed to whine and complain all the time, I mean I am hear and I am gonna laugh about it or cry but I can't please everyone.  Especially now as I try to figure out at 34 what the heck do I do with the rest of my life...............
How do I cope?  How can I explain my fear of no bathrooms; or sitting for long periods of time. 
How do I explain oh I love that you brought me wine but its acidic so I can't drink it. 
No thank you I can walk by myself you rude ass because you are being a speed demon.  I can't walk fast when everything below my belly button is screaming can I please get some  ice, heat, drugs............
Yes, as a Christian I believe all things are possible but I tend to believe that our bodies are Gods gifts and when they scream SLOW DOWN maybe we should.
I want to just go out, have fun not talk about me; I wanna laugh of course with my poise on...............
I want to have sex that does not hurt at any point unless I want it to;-)
I want to go to the bathroom and not regret it because it hurts so much. 
I want to do more but who can when  I feel like all I do and feel comfy doing is laying down. 
I want to be remembered but not suffocated.  This is why I seek help and know I need Jesus!
I want to cope happily, without regret.................

So I share with you because who knows what your going through but it helps me to read things others write about. 

Could it be better to shoot me!!

Here is the deal as short as I can make it and WARNING it ain't pretty. And no sympathy this is my life and I KNOW that GOD has a plan because I believe even this is better than the way I grew up!!!! Well, I'm feeling better from my coccyx bruise which happened in my own house at 5am July 28, 2009. These stairs are the scene of the crime!
Turns out I am a hot mess and now other conditions are in a flare. Which are this Pelvic Floor dysfunction, the Painful Bladder syndrome and vulvaydnia. I am still seeing the Chiropractor 3 times a week and following all the at home treatments the doctors have told me to follow. The pelvic doctor said on Friday that things look better since the last visit. Did the only Physical Therapy insurance would allow and now am doing Bladder instilations and Trigger point injections that I don't wish on anybody. Well I have already had procedures like urodynamic testing and biopsy that happened in September. Since some of this stuff is private area stuff I am never sure how much to share even with anybody it is not a secret just my reality. So, its easier to say my belly hurts than to say my who=ha is kiling me. I been got a major physical which all leads to surgery for the Interstitial Cystitis on September 21st; they just forgot to diagnose my craziness. I really don't want to get into all the details but I am not sure about anything at the moment. I just really need to keep taking care of me; we are in a financial mess; I am trying not to let this get me too down. Seriously, DO YOU REALIZE THAT I AM 33 AND THAT RECENTLY I HAD TO WRITE DOWN THIS LIST FOR A DOCTOR? WHICH LEAVES ME FEELING LIKE I AM 80 YEARS OLD. OKAY SOME MUCH SAY TMI!!!!!!!!!!!
BUT THEN IF WE CAN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS STUFF AND I DON’T SHARE THEN WHATS THE POINT. SO, HERE IT GOES MEDICAL CONDITIONS:

• • Anxiety
• • Asthma/allergies
• • Coccygodynia or Coccydynia
• • detrusor overactivity/OAB
• • Ecezema
• • Endometriosis
• • Fibromyalgia
• • gastro esophageal reflux disease (GERD)
• • Interstitial Cystitis & Painful Bladder Syndrome
• • Irritable Bowel Syndrome
• 1. crazy constipation
• • Migraines/Headaches
• • Pelvic floor dysfunction
• • Plantar Fasciitis
• • Sacroiliac joint dysfunction
• • Uterine Fibroids
• • Vulvar vestibulitis syndrome/Vulvodynia
• • Hemorrhoids – Internal and external
• • Laryngopharyngeal something as a result of the GERD
• 1. and maybe Polycystic ovarian syndromebut they figure I got enough on my plate at the moment.
• 2. Ohh! Did I mention I have like 18 medications to take a day internal and external. No wine for me….