It is weird because there is a lot to be said about choice.
IT IS ONE THING WHEN YOU CAN BELIEVE IT IS YOUR CHOICE WHEN AND WHEN NOT TO HAVE A CHILD. BUT WHEN THAT CHOICE IS MADE FOR YOU. WHEN A DOCTOR TELLS YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE NO WAY! NO ONE CAN UNDERSTAND THAT. YET, MANY DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT WHAT A SURPRISE.
Whether you are a man and have problems with your sperm or the women being told it not healthly or physically possible I am not sure anyone but God can understand that pain. I just think people think they understand but its hard to understand. With God all things are possible but what if in the same way the Creator chooses some to be single and others to be married; what if he calls some to raise their own children and some to raise none or that of others.
Just a thought. I am praying for my friend, my spouse and those of you knew that know the pain of future dreams Greif & Pain.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
I am just not cured of all this stuff but I am free, I have hope, I have the love and light and I know that my Redeemer Lives....
This was my devotional this morning as I get ready to find out a lot of things including if I have to do another 8 weeks of injections and Bladder installations......
Cured or Healed? http://www.upperroom.org/Devotional/
Cured or Healed? http://www.upperroom.org/Devotional/[The formerly blind man] answered, "... Jesus made some mud, rubbed it on my eyes, and told me to go to Siloam and wash my face. So I went, and as soon as I washed, I could see."
-John 9:11 (TEV)
It is hard to wake up early in the morning knowing what I have to deal with! Yes, I am grateful I am not dying but the pain sometimes sure makes me wish I was.... Then to top it off this morning is another bad day its been a bad few days feeling sharp pains as if its labor from both ends; anybody understand what I am talking about. Then I am trying to make summer plans but can't because I can't even guarantee what I can do this week. We got stuck in traffic in NJ yesterday and I missed my turn because of the new construction and not only was it a pain in the ass then it is NOW! Its just too much and when people cannot comrehend how can you trully share. If people do not get that I am healed!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am free!!!!!!!!!!! I have hope.!!!!!!!!!! But I am just not cured of all this stuff but I trust one day, one day whether that is in this life or the afterlife God will complete the good work he has begun in me; even if I don't get it so thats that!
Now I gotta get ready! Happy St. Patricks day! Have one for me since I can't drink!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Relationships....................
I know it has been awhile and honestly I am not sure I have much to say..........more because I am digesting it. Today's devotional from Upper Room Ministries really spoke to my heart this morning as it talked about prickly people.
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself." And he said to him, "You have given the right answer; do this, and you will live." ), which includes my prickly neighbors, too.
I know we all have family issues; my own got a little crazy in the past few weeks; today's blog is dedicated to my Abuelita who by living her life has taught me patience, strength, consistent love, laughter and a belief in God in all things. Loving our neighbors is not easy, especially when one is in pain, moody, or just not in a loving place. It is hard to love family, friends and sometimes even oneself. My big struggle has always been loving me and so being a Believer for me has more to do with receiving Gods' love for me and loving me. All this stuff lately with this PTSD has a lot to do with learning to take care of me. How to put myself first because I am so good at taking care of others and making excuses for taking care of me that.....................Well, there is no good excuse! For I am to Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself." This is the way God has called us to live Jesus said this to a rich man who had it all..And he said to him, "You have given the right answer; do this, and you will live." ), which includes my prickly neighbors, too. It is hard but in this lenten season again I am just meditating on what about me and my habits need to change so I can be the woman God wants me to be. So, today I need to remember I have to love me if I expect to love anyone!!!!!!!!!!! Even in pain, depression, etc I need God to deal with it all.
So, to my Abuelita Gracias por tu amor y por siempre estando ahi por mi. Por tu fe en el Senor de como nina me enseno lo bueno! Tu eres mi heroina hoy y para siempre! TE AMO!
Celia Cruz Y Gloria Estefan Tres gotas te agua bendita
En la campiña sentada
Esta mi abuela, Luciana
Que aunque esta vieja y cansada
Tempranito se levanta
Justo al cantio de un gallo..........................
Y pa’ que nada le falte
En el transcurso del dia
Saca su pañuelo rojo
Y un poco de agua bendita.....................
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y se te cura el lumbago
Y se te aclara la vista...............
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Con agua bendita, negrita
Todos los males se te quitan
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y un poco de hierbabuena
Se curan las pesadillas
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y se te aclara el futuro
Nunca te falta el trabajo
Y vas hasta el fin del mundo
Con el pasar de los años
Mi abuela no compendia
Que el mundo va progresando
Que existe la medicina
Que existen computadoras
Que existe la geografia
Que todo no se resuelve
Bañado en agua bendita
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Para el dolor de cabeza
No te hace falta aspirina
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y un poco de hierbabuena
Te quita las pesadillas
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Pa’ que te cure el espasmo
Y nunca sientas envidia
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Pa’ que el muchacho de al lado
Te diga los Buenos dias
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y se te aclara el puturo
Nuncia te falta el trabajo
Y vas hasta el fin del mundo
Con tres gotas de, de agua bendita
Para el dolor, para el dolor, para el dolor de cabeza
De agua bendita
Ay, mi abuela no vive
So no tiene el sabor
De agua bendita
Con tu pañuelo en la mano
De agua bendita
Para que nada, para que nada
Para que nada, te falte de agua bendita
Agua bendita pa’ ti
Agua bebdita pa’ mi
Y pa’ mi abuelita
De agua bendita
Ese es mi abuela
La quiero con locura
Y a ti tambien, celia
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself." And he said to him, "You have given the right answer; do this, and you will live." ), which includes my prickly neighbors, too.
I know we all have family issues; my own got a little crazy in the past few weeks; today's blog is dedicated to my Abuelita who by living her life has taught me patience, strength, consistent love, laughter and a belief in God in all things. Loving our neighbors is not easy, especially when one is in pain, moody, or just not in a loving place. It is hard to love family, friends and sometimes even oneself. My big struggle has always been loving me and so being a Believer for me has more to do with receiving Gods' love for me and loving me. All this stuff lately with this PTSD has a lot to do with learning to take care of me. How to put myself first because I am so good at taking care of others and making excuses for taking care of me that.....................Well, there is no good excuse! For I am to Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself." This is the way God has called us to live Jesus said this to a rich man who had it all..And he said to him, "You have given the right answer; do this, and you will live." ), which includes my prickly neighbors, too. It is hard but in this lenten season again I am just meditating on what about me and my habits need to change so I can be the woman God wants me to be. So, today I need to remember I have to love me if I expect to love anyone!!!!!!!!!!! Even in pain, depression, etc I need God to deal with it all.
So, to my Abuelita Gracias por tu amor y por siempre estando ahi por mi. Por tu fe en el Senor de como nina me enseno lo bueno! Tu eres mi heroina hoy y para siempre! TE AMO!
Celia Cruz Y Gloria Estefan Tres gotas te agua bendita
En la campiña sentada
Esta mi abuela, Luciana
Que aunque esta vieja y cansada
Tempranito se levanta
Justo al cantio de un gallo..........................
Y pa’ que nada le falte
En el transcurso del dia
Saca su pañuelo rojo
Y un poco de agua bendita.....................
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y se te cura el lumbago
Y se te aclara la vista...............
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Con agua bendita, negrita
Todos los males se te quitan
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y un poco de hierbabuena
Se curan las pesadillas
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y se te aclara el futuro
Nunca te falta el trabajo
Y vas hasta el fin del mundo
Con el pasar de los años
Mi abuela no compendia
Que el mundo va progresando
Que existe la medicina
Que existen computadoras
Que existe la geografia
Que todo no se resuelve
Bañado en agua bendita
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Para el dolor de cabeza
No te hace falta aspirina
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y un poco de hierbabuena
Te quita las pesadillas
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Pa’ que te cure el espasmo
Y nunca sientas envidia
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Pa’ que el muchacho de al lado
Te diga los Buenos dias
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y se te aclara el puturo
Nuncia te falta el trabajo
Y vas hasta el fin del mundo
Con tres gotas de, de agua bendita
Para el dolor, para el dolor, para el dolor de cabeza
De agua bendita
Ay, mi abuela no vive
So no tiene el sabor
De agua bendita
Con tu pañuelo en la mano
De agua bendita
Para que nada, para que nada
Para que nada, te falte de agua bendita
Agua bendita pa’ ti
Agua bebdita pa’ mi
Y pa’ mi abuelita
De agua bendita
Ese es mi abuela
La quiero con locura
Y a ti tambien, celia
Monday, March 1, 2010
Playing with images................
I think the only one that as a child helped me use my imagination by the shows we watched and the stories she would tell is my abuelita/grandma. She has not been feeling well and the thought of it all had me thinking about a lot of things so I decided to share with you. I love my Abuelita she raised me and I have always admired her strength, tenaciousnes and humility. Gracias abuelita por tu amor! So here is a big secret, some days I want to be some exotic Greek goddess; just because!
Aphrodite............
http://www.pantheon.org/articles/a/aphrodite.html
The Phoenix rising.................
I used to read X Men comics and I was obsessed with Jean Grey and Storm because they both were complicated like me.
http://graphicnovelscomics.suite101.com/article.cfm/xman_jean_grey this site tells more about her background........
Jean Grey has always been portrayed as somebody with a strong moral background. Indeed, many of the pivotal stories about the character involve the inner battle between Jean Grey's innate virtuous character and the evil or amoral influence of the Phoenix Force which came to inhabit her body. Jean Grey has even willingly sacrificed her life so that she would no longer pose a danger to others. In the famous "Dark Phoenix" storyline, Jean Grey is said to have sacrificed her own life so that the world could be saved. A number of writers have described interesting parallels between these events and the New Testament account of the Jesus Christ's sacrifice on the Cross. These stories are not exact parallels, however, because Jean Grey's character, under the influence of the Phoenix, had a dual nature and evil/destructive component which is not present in the New Testament account of Jesus.
Storm too struggles with the trauma of losing her parents that later her confidant Jean Grey learns about.
http://marvel.com/universe/Storm
Storm was initially very naive when it came to the customs of the modern world, but her team mate Jean Grey helped educate her in the ways of society and the pair formed a lasting friendship. Jean was also one of the first X-Men to learn of Storm's claustrophobia after the two women chased a thief into the subway.
After serving with the team for many years, Storm was appointed leader of the team following the departure of former leader Cyclops after the apparent death of Jean. Storm was initially unsure about her new role, but with the support of her team-mates she soon became a capable leader. When Cyclops eventually returned to the team, Storm found herself doubting her leadership abilities once more after a mission she led went wrong. However, she soon asserted her position, reminding Cyclops that she was now team leader.
http://marvel.wikia.com/Ororo_Munroe_%28Earth-616%29
Aphrodite............
http://www.pantheon.org/articles/a/aphrodite.html
The Phoenix rising.................
I used to read X Men comics and I was obsessed with Jean Grey and Storm because they both were complicated like me.
http://graphicnovelscomics.suite101.com/article.cfm/xman_jean_grey this site tells more about her background........
Jean Grey has always been portrayed as somebody with a strong moral background. Indeed, many of the pivotal stories about the character involve the inner battle between Jean Grey's innate virtuous character and the evil or amoral influence of the Phoenix Force which came to inhabit her body. Jean Grey has even willingly sacrificed her life so that she would no longer pose a danger to others. In the famous "Dark Phoenix" storyline, Jean Grey is said to have sacrificed her own life so that the world could be saved. A number of writers have described interesting parallels between these events and the New Testament account of the Jesus Christ's sacrifice on the Cross. These stories are not exact parallels, however, because Jean Grey's character, under the influence of the Phoenix, had a dual nature and evil/destructive component which is not present in the New Testament account of Jesus.
http://marvel.com/universe/Storm
Storm was initially very naive when it came to the customs of the modern world, but her team mate Jean Grey helped educate her in the ways of society and the pair formed a lasting friendship. Jean was also one of the first X-Men to learn of Storm's claustrophobia after the two women chased a thief into the subway.
After serving with the team for many years, Storm was appointed leader of the team following the departure of former leader Cyclops after the apparent death of Jean. Storm was initially unsure about her new role, but with the support of her team-mates she soon became a capable leader. When Cyclops eventually returned to the team, Storm found herself doubting her leadership abilities once more after a mission she led went wrong. However, she soon asserted her position, reminding Cyclops that she was now team leader.
http://marvel.wikia.com/Ororo_Munroe_%28Earth-616%29
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