Baptismal waters.....19 years today as a Baptist but also as Baby

Today 19 years ago I entered the Baptismal waters where I was worried they would drown me because my sins were many.  But I realize that it is a process that was my public declaration to God of my love for him because so much had happened that I needed that reminder as 16 year old adult that I was.  I mean it was a romantic idea that I could be a new creation in Christ and start again.  God brought me to a Baptist church but I never denied my Catholic up-bringing becasue there I learned reverence.  But in these last few days as I have conversations with many wonderful catholic people I think this society makes Catholics feel like that is not legit.  It is in my book.  Gosh do I remember my first communion and I still hold on to that invitation that Christ made to me to partake in this blessed sacrament.  I guess what I am saying is we all need a moment like a wedding, baptism, graduation a post mark of an achievement.  But the important thing for me even 19 years later is that I am a daughter of God and that DAILY I SEEK TO HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP.  Because guess what I am a sinner saved by grace.  I am in need of God and his GRACE is sufficient for me and all of us who seek him!  So seek your God and dare to find faith, hope and love!!!! 

Relationships....................

I know it has been awhile and honestly I am not sure I have much to say..........more because I am digesting it.  Today's devotional from Upper Room Ministries really spoke to my heart this morning as it talked about prickly people. 
"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself." And he said to him, "You have given the right answer; do this, and you will live." ), which includes my prickly neighbors, too.
I know we all have family issues; my own got a little crazy in the past few weeks; today's blog is dedicated to my Abuelita who by living her life has taught me patience, strength, consistent love, laughter and a belief in God in all things.  Loving our neighbors is not easy, especially when one is in pain, moody, or just not in a loving place.  It is hard to love family, friends and sometimes even oneself.  My big struggle has always been loving me and so being a Believer for me has more to do with receiving Gods' love for me and loving me.  All this stuff lately with this PTSD has a lot to do with learning to take care of me.  How to put myself first because I am so good at taking care of others and making excuses for taking care of me that.....................Well, there is no good excuse!  For I am to Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself." This is the way God has called us to live Jesus said this to a rich man who had it all..And he said to him, "You have given the right answer; do this, and you will live." ), which includes my prickly neighbors, too.  It is hard but in this lenten season again I am just meditating on what about me and my habits need to change so I can be the woman God wants me to be.  So, today I need to remember I have to love me if I expect to love anyone!!!!!!!!!!! Even in pain, depression, etc I need God to deal with it all.  
So, to my Abuelita Gracias por tu amor y por siempre estando ahi por mi. Por tu fe en el Senor de como nina me enseno lo bueno!  Tu eres mi heroina hoy y para siempre!  TE AMO!


Celia Cruz Y Gloria Estefan Tres gotas te agua bendita
En la campiña sentada
Esta mi abuela, Luciana
Que aunque esta vieja y cansada
Tempranito se levanta

Justo al cantio de un gallo..........................


Y pa’ que nada le falte
En el transcurso del dia
Saca su pañuelo rojo
Y un poco de agua bendita.....................
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y se te cura el lumbago
Y se te aclara la vista...............
Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Con agua bendita, negrita
Todos los males se te quitan

Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y un poco de hierbabuena
Se curan las pesadillas

Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y se te aclara el futuro
Nunca te falta el trabajo
Y vas hasta el fin del mundo

Con el pasar de los años
Mi abuela no compendia
Que el mundo va progresando
Que existe la medicina
Que existen computadoras
Que existe la geografia
Que todo no se resuelve
Bañado en agua bendita

Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Para el dolor de cabeza
No te hace falta aspirina

Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y un poco de hierbabuena
Te quita las pesadillas

Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Pa’ que te cure el espasmo
Y nunca sientas envidia

Un, dos, tres
Tres gotas de agua bendita
Pa’ que el muchacho de al lado
Te diga los Buenos dias

Tres gotas de agua bendita
Y se te aclara el puturo
Nuncia te falta el trabajo
Y vas hasta el fin del mundo

Con tres gotas de, de agua bendita
Para el dolor, para el dolor, para el dolor de cabeza
De agua bendita
Ay, mi abuela no vive
So no tiene el sabor
De agua bendita
Con tu pañuelo en la mano
De agua bendita

Para que nada, para que nada
Para que nada, te falte de agua bendita
Agua bendita pa’ ti
Agua bebdita pa’ mi
Y pa’ mi abuelita
De agua bendita

Ese es mi abuela
La quiero con locura
Y a ti tambien, celia

Relationships

It is so dam hard to be in relationship especially when your aim is to be happy. I just don't understand why is that hard times make people want to treat the other like shit. What the freak??????????? I don't want to feel like I don't belong when the one that is making me feel like that is the one I love most. When it is my best friend that is making me feel like I urk the shit out of them.
I get the wrath when no one is around and maybe I am wrong but right now it feels that way. What the freak did I do but love you? What do you want me to do???Just tel me maybe that would help things. This is not easy and I am not asking to fucking talk all the time I just want to be able to live in my house. Cause where you are is my home!!!!!!!
I am so pissed right now I want to hit something...........