Tuesday, January 12, 2010

At a crossroads; my way or the Lords way!

My devotion this morning was about the confrontation of Saul and Jesus!  And, while the devotion had a lot to say I found myself thinking about this time.  This time of being sick.  Of not being reliable of everything be unsteady the way I hate it.  And, well we always have a choice; the choice I think this season is about is about submission until the Lord.  I am HIS!   Yeah, I had plans after ordination and I thought certain plans of grandeur after becoming Reverend.  But, his work is not finished with me yet. My life has been an uphill battle but I have to admit even now is better than the past because I always have a choice.  A choice to be free in his glorious presence, a choice to invest time in the things he has been putting on my heart. 
I can't say that I like being at another crossroads because that would be a lie but I admit that when the fog clears its nice to know that God is in control and loves me so.  God has provided for me in ways I cannot explain; we should never have money to buy food or meds yet it works out.  I thank God for people that have become my family that seriously obey when God leads because I don't know where we would be.  This is not the success of man but it is the success of Christ.  A life in which I never go hungry; I have a roof over my head, I am not moving from place to place we have heat, water and I have to say Thank you LORD!
No, being sick is not pretty or successful but Gods power is made perfect in all of my weaknesses and pain its crazy.  God amazes me!  God has a plan and I have no idea but I know I am the Lord's and he has a plan for my well being and in this darkness I must trust that. 
At this crossroads all I want is Jesus!  For he has given me life, given me an inheritance, a life that no is not perfect but is blessed and joyous even if others call me crazy.  I mean I think about Sunday and how the Lord woke me up sing Alleluia!  And, Gi I problems and all I made it to church and they were inspired to sing Alleluia and I can't tell you the joy that brought me.  The fact that the Pastor talked about how John the Baptist was crazy weird and Jesus was not about titles and it confirmed what I have been feeling and what I have known.  No!  I am not the Pastor, Chaplain or Reverend others expect but I am the Lords and my Father in Heaven loves me and he has my interest at heart and I trust that.  So, I will continue to do my best in pain and bad moments to choose the Lords way..................

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